Brit News

What's the deal with you guys driving on the wrong side of the street?

It was Napoleon who said that Europe should all drive on the right, something about making Russia easier to invade I think. But plucky old Blighty resisted his devious embrace. (Cybercommie)

​Queuing....like why? Chaos is more fun! (cml0401)

So you can tut when other people jump the line. (jayone)


Don't forget the occasional sigh and eye rolling. (Delta_L)

You keep the hot and cold water separate for health reasons. Old boilers and piping would often use lead solder and heating elements contaminate your hot water with tiny amounts of heavy metals. Also hot water pipes, due to constant heating and cooling are more hospitable to bacteria. So why take the risk when you could always have totally safe and gubbin free cold water? Also my friend says having a supply of ice cold mains water is essential for perfect tea brewing! (Each_To_Their_Own)


​Other nations just don't understand us!


A thread on 'Reddit' asked "What part of British culture do you not understand?" Here's the best of the questions and replies from around the world...

What does the queen do? (NorthZeroEast)

Waves at stuff, trying to ignore her husband cracking inappropriate jokes a few paces behind her. (Got_Wilk)


​Hoard Corgis. (LambastingFrog)








Original Reddit thread here.


More Weekly Wags here.

​Beer at 9 in the morning? (justamemejunky)

That's breakfast. Do you not have breakfast in your country? (Boredpenslinger)


No I'm just civilized and have Scotch (stratzvyda)


Everyone knows Scotch is for elevenses. (Boredpenslinger)


Surely only at the airport with a fry-up. Cos you're on holiday then. (gingerchris)

Why do you all seem so miserable...and proud of it? People complain about the price of that ice cream you call "99" or how water for the tea wasn't hot enough. It sounds as if you're incapable of enjoying anything. Yet somehow you're all proud of this. (FLYBOY611)

IT'S BECAUSE A 99 SHOULD BE 99P DAMMIT (ribena_wrath)

I don't understand it, but I want to try a Scotch egg. (Monkstar)

​Go on then. (jayone)

Do you find it insulting that in movies every portrayal of an evil empire, from ancient Rome all the way to the Star Wars Galactic Empire uses actors with English accents? I would think having my accent as the go-to for evil/oppression would get on my nerves. (emperorguillotine)

​You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. (Sacro)

​The Knighthoods. You used to have to prove yourself in battle. Now you hand them out to high level paper pushers who don't even carry a sword. (Dookiestain_LaFlair)

Pasties are the greatest thing ever.  Why have you not figured out how to export these? (haleted)

Asia

I honestly don't understand what the taboo is in Britain with taking home leftovers from restaurants. My husband and mother-in-law have been unable to explain it other than to say "it's just not done." I feel like a 5 year old always asking "Why?"

I'm not really sure why but it's just seen as a bit rude. (birdrew)

Are all your inventors as absent minded as Wallace and are all your dogs as smart as Gromit? (tphantom1)

    

     Yes.  (Dr_Doomhammer)


​     The stereotypical English inventor is just a man      in a shed hiding from the missus until it's time        for a pint down the local. (kebcabalite)



​Butter on every sandwich? (dirtymoney)

​You don't have butter on every sandwich?! (oldmanonahorse)

Why did you guys feel such a need to dominate the world? (AnorOmnis)

It's simple really. We had a flag and they didn't. (Delta_L)


​We had to do something to get away from the weather. (SolidSquid)

​Do your stone angels come alive and attack often? How do you deal with the lack of blinking? (skellum)

Yes, but they were much more prevalent in the 19th century. To combat this the monocle became a widespread device that prevented blinking so those in danger could escape with one eye open at all times. (Delta_L)

Is anyone ever actually on time for work with those large breakfasts of yours?

​Welsh rarebit.  Kept seeing it on menus, wondered what the hell it was. Ordered it the other day - apparently it's just cheese on toast. Am I missing something?

Cricket. I do not understand this sport at all. (heisenberg149)

Two taps? It makes no sense, burn your hand on the hot, freeze it on the cold one. Mixer taps! Thermostatic valves! (lartapplicant)